Yes, Pissed, I'll Admit It

Ok, so Sunday was a beautiful day and I took the train North a few stops up the Hudson River to Cold Spring. You know, one of those tiny little towns with antique shops and specialty shops and cute little places to eat outside. The weather couldn't have been better and it was a nice day. You know the rest - all day, I had to fight the images in my mind of Nicholas and I doing this exact day together, even more so because he loved the Hudson River and the mountains. It has taken me five and a half years to venture out again on outings such as these because I didn't want to deal with these exact feelings that hovered over and within me all day. But I did say yes when I was invited so I took that as a positive sign even though I had my trepidations. Since I said yes, I went through with it. Thank God for friends and family that don't stop 'asking' when others do. I did have a nice day but did come home exhausted, down and yes, pissed at my circumstances. It is Tuesday now and I am feeling better. My plan is that as long as I can 'do' it, I will, suffer the melancholy, and get 'good' at it. Things will never be the same - they just cannot be and that is a fact - but as I always say, practice makes perfect! Thanks Lorraine for continuing to ask.